I wish you good success in your "renewal" with your husband, and congratulations on your repentant attitude and willingness to work on things.
I am a HD husband whose wife similarly apologized and realized the great pain she had caused me, after many hours of tears and heartfelt, gut-wrenching conversation. Promises to "never go back" to "the OLD Mary" lasted about a month or two, and it's now been 3 years of things being RIGHT back the way they were before.
So I guess we did "blackside," and maybe there are things that I did (or didn't do) that could help you. The main thing is, I didn't "call her on it" at the time, I guess because this was about the fourth or fifth "come-to-Jesus" meeting we had had on the subject in the then-15 years of marriage, and I guess I felt like she knew where I stood and it was up to her to do something about it.
I would encourage you to communicate to your husband if you feel yourself slipping back into your old ways, and try to "nip things in the bud," as it were. Had my wife done that, we may have made out better. But it's still my fault for not calling her on it.
