Fortunately, my narcissistic ex was of the (relatively) milder sort - which explains why it took me so long to connect the dots. He was very charming, as they so often are. (One of his guy friends once called him “a god among men” Lolol !). So long as I made him look good and we did the things HE liked, things seemed great. I mostly ignored his criticisms as they just seemed ridiculous (really? My thighs were too fat at 5’6” 118 lbs? Absurd). And I knew he was even more critical of himself ( he was a insecure narcissist). I did get a lot of good years out of the marriage (from my clueless perspective) , and it wasn’t until after the divorce that I began to realize that the two infidelities I had known about may have just been the tip of the iceberg.
I’m good though, I’m well over it and men I’ve dated since my divorce have shown me what was missing in my marriage. I got 3 great kids out of the marriage. I wish he was more help with them as adults but if he did then he wouldn’t be a narcissist, would he?
