I didn't really "give in" to my ex, I would usually just find a way to exit the conversation if he was pushing too much. But what HE wanted was total capitulation to his world view. I often wonder how his current wife fares when he gets like that - I don't get the impression she's as strong as I am. But then again, she married a daddy figure, so maybe she just follows along. Or again, maybe he's not cheating on her and so there isn't that ugly undercurrent that I was unaware of at the time. Maybe with age and acquiring his younger Asian-American "trophy wife", he's no longer intriguing with other women. I wouldn't bet my life on it though. Leopards don't change their spots.
My ex and I were peers, academically, intellectually, age-wise (well I was 4 years older). For his second wife he chose someone 19 years younger, less intellectual, less well-traveled - someone who would not see through his facade, I think. I do still feel slightly guilty that none of us clued her in to his cheating history before they married (she was NOT an OW, came along after our divorce). But I hope he's too old and tired to cheat on her, I really, really want her to care for him in his old age so my kids aren't burdened.
