My thought in your first thread is that you are overthinking things bigly.
You are quite right. A little bit about me - I almost always speak elaborately when talking to anyone on just about anything. I use lot of words and long sentences. I have the ability to think deeply on pretty much anything and do that very fast - it could be a matter of technology or a human situation. I have pretty low EQ. I am analytical on everything, a realist and problem-solving oriented (the last one has led to R conflicts that made no sense to me). These are deep character traits, which often leads to overthinking. The reality of having to cohabit and do many things just like a regular married couple is making it hard to control my DB efforts. I am actually actively trying to stay in the present and avoid overthinking. I know it is working but I have some ways to go.
Originally Posted by ovrrnbw
The best way for the realization to be understood is for it to be real. The fastest way is for you to start being consistent. And the specific action recommended is the one consistent with your values.
Good thing is, now I am aware of these things. It also indirectly implies that there are no shortcuts. Could use reminders every now and then .
My question about specific actions were more related to GAL activities or handling tactical situations at home. For example, I am able to do many new activities diligently and I am really motivated but I am unable to meet new people. I don't know if that is required for a highly effective GAL. I just reevaluated my understanding of how to handle post-BD / pre-D tactical situations and I think I am doing okay regarding specifics. And I have a vast amount of golden words within this DB forum to guide me.
Originally Posted by ovrrnbw
Otherwise you're being someone else and you will be at odds with yourself. She'll know. You'll know. No one will like it.
Another good thing is that I don't get the feeling that I am trying to be someone else. I do feel the changes and the organic nature of the changes. I have not felt imposter syndrome but might have to put in some effort to ensure that I am not fooling myself. Did my workout activity regress earlier in life? - yes, several times. But it feels different this time. And this time around I also have the self-forgiveness tool to use during implementation slip-ups. That has really helped.
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