Deep down, I know MR is finished. Why would I want this W back who has left me 3x now?
Yes--then the marriage is finished for now. The DB approach, "I don't want this divorce, but I won't stand in your way" assumes a desire to save the marriage, whereas you've sounded ambivalent. I get this is the third time you've been at this rodeo, and you feel she's disrespected you throughout the marriage. I would work on burning through that resentment in IC because holding in those feelings don't help anyone, and working on owning and 180'ing any desire to handle conflicts by withholding sex. Those will help whether you R or not.
Originally Posted by Josh
looking at International flights (to visit ex lover I suspect.
Makes sense? You're throwing in the towel. She deserves pursuing sexual satisfaction and happiness.
Originally Posted by Josh
I hope she doesn't expect me to take time off to look after the kids, because I stupidly did post BD
If you're done, her hopes and expectations, her reasons for asking you to watch the kids don't matter, because when you detach her feelings don't enter the calculus anymore. Do you want more time with your kids? Can you be free? My answer would be an enthusiastic "Yes!" I would ask her to cover any childcare costs during my work hours.
