Thanks for all this. Deep down, I know MR is finished. I know she's planning her financial future, beyond just selling the house. I see her browsing for new apartments, she has notes about trusts for kids, and is looking at International flights (to visit ex lover I suspect. I hope she doesn't expect me to take time off to look after the kids, because I stupidly did post BD 1. Talk about having no b@llz), and scribbled notes about child costs I'm expected to pay,
Why would I want this W back who has left me 3x now? Who disrespected me the first week we moved in together. Who never once stood by me in my time of need, but always ensured, over the duration of our marriage, that I don't forget the numerous times I wasn't there exactly as she expected.
I'm regaining my power to be stronger, to forge ahead, and to never be a Nice Guy again.
I'm not really DBing, am I?
Actually I'd argue you are! If more LBHs took this approach after BD there would be more Rs, I truly believe that. DBing is more about NOT trying to save the marriage in order to save the marriage.
But I would be careful assuming she will never want to R again. My WW was well down all of those paths as well before a fairly quick turnaround. It can happen.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
