Partly because I'm not interested for emotional reasons, partly because she insists 100% of the time I must initiate which I don't do very often, partly due to sexual disfunction which was since solved, and partly because I'm tired of her criticizing me after every sexual encounter that something was wrong, or not good enough.
That sounds awful Josh. Did you ever try to improve?
Multiple times. After a while, things would fade, for one reason or another, and the pattern would repeat. Yeah, too late now, but self-esteem and fear of intimacy is something I'm exploring in IC. Looking back, my inability to set boundaries created resentment which meant I wasn't ever really interested...
Originally Posted by MrBrside
Josh,
You seem very focused on keeping the peace rather than whats best for you.
Comes across as either weak or Nice Guy Syndrome.
Your WW is in the driving seat at the minute and only you can switch cars and go your own way.
I get a sense that you are scared to annoy her, in case it adds further resentment. Detech and get into the head space that you shouldnt care if she resents you.. Its about working on you - because you can't fix her.
You are so right. I've read the NGS book, and it resonates. And 10 years of W in the driver's seat makes it second nature for. I recall last DB where I didn't give a f*ck, she didn't try hard to challenge. I've got to let go, and move on, and be that guy. Like Steve
FWIW, I've said on no uncertain terms, email anything on numbers. I'm happy to talk next week, but you must back it with an email. I also said I don't want to be involved with the real estate agent. She's also getting curious as to why I'm suddenly leaving at night a few times a week (gym). I've dropped 40 pounds over the last 6 months, and about to start a weight lifting program.
