I just wanted to say that you are right, people are reading your posts and no, they are not too long. I, for one, have been busy trying to finish class obligations on time. Hard to do when all you can think about is your sitch.
Yesterday, I tried to squeeze in a post to you but H came home in the middle of it and I had to close it out before I was finished.
I really have no advice other than to second what NSN said. I, too, am a fixer. It is a terribly hard habit to break and I really never realized how it made H feel until reading on this BB.
However, my H is a non-communicator so he wouldn't tell me that it bothered him.
Enough about me, I do have one suggestion and maybe I am totally off track here. But here goes. Both of our S's play football, my H and S17 always talk about the game when it is over and they discuss the plays and what S17 could to differently or better the next time. S17 is fine with that, but when S14 and H discuss the game right afterward, S14 feels criticized and gets upset, so H and S14 have a "24 hour rule." This simply means they do not talk about the game for 24 hours. It gives S14 time to step back and take a look at what happened without taking it personally. I think it also allows my H to be more sensitive to S14 feelings and not mention minor mistakes.
I am worried that if you discuss everything that upsets you with your H, that he might begin to feel like he doesn't measure up. Maybe, if you observed the 24 hour rule, or 12 hour rules or even a 6 hour rule with things, you would have better perspective about what needs to be dealt with and what is just a passing feeling due to lack of sleep, or other outside factors. Does that make sense to you? This won't work with everything but some of the feeling you have been having recently might benefit from this strategy. Just a thought.
You and H are doing wonderfully. Keep up the good work.
Everything happens for a reason, maybe Dad needs to find that it isn't better out there, he needs to realize how good he had it here. Maybe he will find God and that is the most important thing when he finds Him he will know he is supposed to come home.
