I have to say you may be the first with a WAW who is leaving due to not enough sex. Typically that’s easy to remedy.
We haven't been having regular sex for years for various reasons. It's always been more than a couple of times a year, but never in the weekly category. Partly because I'm not interested for emotional reasons, partly because she insists 100% of the time I must initiate which I don't do very often, partly due to sexual disfunction which was since solved, and partly because I'm tired of her criticising me after every sexual encounter that something was wrong, or not good enough. But that's only part of it. We only learned this recently, but we have a classic pursuer/distancer relationship. My contribution to this is the distancer. We have a habit of a negative destructive behaviors that always seem to manifest. At the end of the day, I don't think we ever had a deep connection since we both can agree the issues started from the day we moved in together. She started getting assertive about how everything has to be her way, challenging it was constant effort and arguments. I didn't have the strength to enforce boundaries. I eventually stopped arguing and withdrew as the Nice Guy. That's the 10K ft view.
My work over the last 9 months was to remedy this, since the first BD was about depression. And this work has lead me to realise how much I've desired a strong connection, but never really had it, possibly ever in my life. And that this connection is required for wanting sex, I'm not someone to can just do it, I've never had a one night stand.
I'm open to piecing, but I'm not 100% sure she change to what is needed for that. We tried that, ad she bailed. And likewise, I'm not certain I can be what she expects.
In any event, I'm about to prepare a response to all her emails about $. I've also organised a meeting with L. What is clear is that she is hinting at me supporting her and the kids. What she fails to realise is that, and the courts in my country are clear, the H isn't here to support her lifestyle, but to support the kids. What you call alimony won't exist because she will be cash rich from the sale of our family home.
I need to respond in a validating way that what she needs is indeed a lot, and that she'll need to dip into her savings. I don't have any intention of being a d*ick when it comes to kids, I'm find with funding more than my share. But my point is that she is trying to eat her cake, and she needs to understand that it won't work.
