Um, I know why. She has been complaining about a lack of sex, and I've said it won't happen until there is respect and a connection. She said that is a pre-condition. And, well, yes it is, what's the problem? We were going to hit the subject head on in couples counselling, and even discuss past fears in relationships. It was going to be a very confronting. I genuinely think her ego does not allow her to face her shortcomings.
She's been complaining about the low quality and quantity of sex for years and going to counseling with you for--9 months? These preconditions--(a) rebuilding connection, (b) rebuilding respect, (c) and a "very confronting" session about her "shortcomings"--for you are a sword for the marriage to die on because they're reasonable, and for her because her willingness to wait for it is exhausted.
