Is it the length of my posts? I know people read this...feeling kind of lonely with the lack of replies.

Anyway!

I was feeling down this morning (probably pretty obvious from the post). So I decided to run by home to see H for lunch.

This cheered me up. He was pretty sleepy, so I crawled all over him in bed. We had a nice snack. I was feeling pretty frisky, so I started fooling around with him. It's been a long time since I've initiated--I've been letting him do it for the last couple of months.

I wanted more, but he was still pretty sleepy. I told him I thought I was having one of those times where I just want to go at it like a couple of rabbits. He said that was him about three days ago--I said it was too bad we weren't lined up! (We were three months ago...that was fun...)

H said maybe I was ovulating--which made me life, since I'm on BC. Then I thought about the, oh, 1% chance (and my friend whose mom was on BC at the time), and told him it was possible...and asked him how he would feel. He said he would happy, then scared and sad. I told him that pretty much fit me, too. (Hey...at least he's still thinking babies! )

I told him I had really just stopped by because I was upset, and knew seeing him would help me feel better. ( ) He asked what was wrong, and I told him it was just all this stuff that has happened to us. That I seemed to get upset when things calmed down the most--like I finally "had the time" to let go. I asked him if he still got upset, too. H said that he still feels really guilty sometimes. I gave him a hug, and told him that I just wanted to move on, so we could do all the things we had always said we wanted to do.

H said he thought one of our problems is money. I told him he was right--we both had been so stressed about it, that we took it out on each other unitentionally. He said that's why he wanted to stay at his mom's until he got back from the army. (I think he also feels inadequate since he can't support me.)

Seeing him helped me feel a lot better. I realized I had also stopped doing something that worked--which was making sure to include all the progress, as well as the issues left to resolve. I had started focussing on all that's still left to do...since I was trying to shorten my posts. (See what happens when I spend more time with H?? My posts explode in size!!)

So...back to including positives! I'm going to have to bust these up. And I'm going to pretend xrm doesn't exist. I did that when they were living together, so now I'm going to do it again. It worked eventually before...

[color:"purple"]Nevanna[/color]