My WW is lazy. Her attempt at determining child support is making up figures on a napkin. I asked her for details, and she emails me a pdf photo if it. I have already crunched the numbers, so I know where I stand.
I don't want to sell the house. I'm going to try to appeal to her greed, because we always talked about knocking down our house to build a duplex which would increase the value substantially. But the problem is that it will take about three years. Post BD this is compelling because it means having family close, but if it gets too weird, I just sell and move on.
The problem is that I certainly don't want a caged animal. She's already getting down with it with boundaries today. In fact she is proclaiming she set some today (which she she broke since they don't apply to her).
Part of me does accept this. Part of me is pissed off she BD 3 months in couples therapy when things seemed to improve. Part of me is nervous as to how this will pan out. And part of me is foaming at the idea I'll get a few days a week with no children, a new apartment, shitloads of cash, and the ability for Dad to have fun nights out.
Where I think I should be headed is supportive, validate, but with boundaries. For sure I'm not going with her to her parents to tell the news. I'm going to have plans. And the reason I want to do this is that she will feel much more awkward when I'm not there. I know she feels anxious at the idea her dad will be disappointed. If I'm there it validates, and puts me into an awkward choice to align or to speak up. if I'm not there, her Dad will probably be more probing.
I've already stalled the conversation on numbers, and I'm definately was not grumpy today. In fact, this is hilarious. She caught herself about to disrespect me and then backed off. I didn't react. I can't remember the last time that happened. Not only that, she always watches TV in the evening, except this time I beat her to it. Never interrupted me until about two hours had passed.
The thing is, I know deep down I'll be able to be a better father without her around. And she is even anticipating some of the children will hate her. And I can already imagine the future where XW still trys to control during handover.
