Are you trying to bust this divorce, or do you want to get divorced?
Whichever choice you make, that doesn't really affect how you should behave. It may effect what advice we give you.
Each of us have "deal breakers", and even those appear to move around at different points in our lives for each of us. Most put PA as a deal breaker until it happens. Some then decide to DB for a period of time.
Did you do everything possible to keep your family together? Most don't. It is crazy hard from my observations here.
Sounds like you get emotional when interacting with W. Stop. Control your emotions. Use your logic and decided not to argue with her anymore. All your words should be calm and confident, and even mysterious. End conversations first and go "take care of things".
Take time to make some decisions.
Silently slipping in and out sounds creepy. Don't be creepy.
"What is best for my kids is best for me" Amor Fati Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712