Josh, I forgot to address the sleeping elsewhere, and moving out.

Since she is the one that wants a D, she should be the one to sleep elsewhere, and/or to move out. The general guidance is that if the WAS is not having a PA, then stay in the MBR and sleep in the marital bed. If she chooses to as well, fine, but she is free to sleep elsewhere. Same with moving out, if she chooses to, fine, but it is okay for her to stay too (and legally you can't kick her out).

If the WAS is in a PA, the rules change slightly. You need to move a cheating WAS out of the MBR and make it clear that they are not welcome in the MBR unless and until they are no longer in the PA, and agree to transparency (knowing where they are at all times, phones and accounts unlocked to you, etc) to prove it is over.

So I have the same questions as R2C. Why are you sleeping elsewhere? Why are you considering moving out? This is her D, not yours.

M(53), W(54),D(19)
M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017
Ring and Piecing since March 2018