The sex, IMHO, relates to anxiety and avoidance to closeness. Her expectations on me always initiating, and my sensitivity to the relationship prevent me from wanting it. Toss in some physical issues, but the blue pill completely resolved that. As we went through couples therapy, I was made aware this was a very typical reaction, and I stated to SO that this is what is happening. She considers this an unacceptable precondition, despite me stating this is reasonable. Generally, no, I'm not comfortable talking about sex, but that has changed about a year ago as I started to open up.
The toddler is the best thing in my life. She is everything I wish I had with the first two. Thank you COVID, for allowing me to daily spend time with her. I have no regrets, and it was the second major live decision we made with agreement and without hesitation.
Being a single Dad is not a problem, and you know, after our chat today, I realise she is doing me a favour. She insists it's happening. She insists shes securely attached despite therapy two months ago showing we're a function of the anxious avoidant trap. Her emotional manipulationscin conflict ain't secure, nor are poor boundaries. I genuinely believe she cannot face her issues, and certain she hasn't explored anxious attachment at all with her IC. But not my problem. Wishful thinking.
The issue now is how to proceed. I think we can be amicable up to the point where she might attempt to have her cake and eat it too. Which happened last time. I will get an L to ensure things are fair.
Atm, she's fretting about telling her Dad, since he believes no one should divorce. Odd fear, he's accepting of anything. To me it's more about shame IMHO. I intend to ensure I'm not involved in that conversation, so there is an opportunity for a more candid conversation. And at the same time pointing out how great that necklace I bought her looks great. Which she has hardly worn until now. Same sort of mixed signals as last time. Part of me wonders if she's wanting to see how GAL works and propose a reconnect as LAT. This came up last time.
In any event, from a GAL POV, I have that sorted. Lime last time if I didn't want to go out, I'd still go out to at least make a point. And now I'm still in the same bed. That changes now. There is where SteveLW comes in with some morr awesome advice ... since I'm not sure how to minimise contact when we share the same house. She continues to laugh, interact, "nag" as if nothing has changed.
since I'm not sure how to minimise contact when we share the same house. She continues to laugh, interact, "nag" as if nothing has changed.
