Sorry to hear about the fall, hope you feel better soon.
I think you hit the nail on the head when you mentioned your anxious attachment style. Clearly Pilot is an avoidant, I just don't think that would ever work out if you were to actually date him.
I would recommend investing some time in researching more about attachment styles and why you seem to fixate on avoidant partners. Apparently there are some really good books out now about attachment styles, maybe that will help point you in a direction.
Last night was really rough!!!! The pain was really bad. There was no way to get around it. I could not move and even sitting or just lying down ----- no relief.
This morning I was able to slowly get into the car. Went and got coffee and stopped at the pharmacy.
I literally... I kid you not have those jumbo pain patches all over my body. They have helped with the muscle tension but I'm pretty sure I broke my tail bone. That pain is intense and not budging.
So now I'm drinking wine.... one way or the other I'm going to kill this pain.
As for attachement styles - I'm actually anxious avoidant. And, yes, I've done tons of reading, pod casts videos learning about my issues and my protest methods. I can look back and recognize why I did a certain thing... now I just have to work on not doing those things ahead of time.
I've dated anxious partners before and that triggers my avoidance side... Pilot is clearly avoidant so that is triggering my anxious side. I've done a lot of reading of how you can make the anxious and avoidant coupling work - let's face it. Anxious and avoidants attract each other.
Anyway, I recognize I still have a lot of work to do.
