Sorry to hear about the fall, hope you feel better soon.
I think you hit the nail on the head when you mentioned your anxious attachment style. Clearly Pilot is an avoidant, I just don't think that would ever work out if you were to actually date him.
I would recommend investing some time in researching more about attachment styles and why you seem to fixate on avoidant partners. Apparently there are some really good books out now about attachment styles, maybe that will help point you in a direction.
