Back from my weekend with XH1 and his family. Had a great time. My nephews are hilarious and kept me laughing on the drive there and back. The B&B my in-laws booked for me was awesome. A little two-room cabin that had been completely renovated complete with a rope swing in a huge willow tree and two beautiful Clydesdale horses in the pasture next door. No internet or tv which was kinda cool for a change.
First night had dinner with XH, his sister and his parents. Amazing food and nice wine. Lots of laughter and memories shared. MIL is clearly struggling with some sort of dementia… likely due to her drinking. MIL was what I refer to as a “functional alcoholic”. Not noticeably inebriated but always had a beer in her hand. Her dad was the same way.
The next day, I spent the morning with XH’s parents and sister. He spent the morning with his D15 and came back in the afternoon. He and I went to dinner at one of our favourite restaurants. The restaurant is filled with photos of residents that the owner had collected over the years. Imagine our surprise when he glances over at the photos on the ledge next to him and sees a picture of his parents on their wedding day. We asked his parents about it and they said they had given her the picture years ago but had never actually seen it. What were the odds?? Anyway…we had a fantastic dinner (crème brûlée for dessert!!) and talked about a lot of things. It was really, really easy just being around each other. We both said that if it had been a first date, we would definitely have wanted a second one…lol. And that we are very grateful for the love that we still share and a friendship that will last a lifetime no matter what the future brings. We didn’t talk about what that future might look like in relation to one another. It felt like there was an unspoken understanding between us that our friendship is just too important to jeopardize it by acting on any feelings that might still exist between us. We both have kids to launch and will be seven hours apart for the foreseeable future so it just wouldn’t be worth it. Maybe in five years if we are both still single, there would be a possibility but now is definitely not the time. I’m just happy that our friendship is still really solid.
Sunday was breakfast with some old friends. So good to see them!!! We had not seen each other in 21 years. One of my friends, who I thought would be single for life, got married last year. He married his high school girlfriend. I didn’t get to meet her unfortunately as she wasn’t feeling too well so didn’t come. He looks happy though which was great to see. XH came along too and we realized that out of all our couple friends that we hung out with back in the day, everyone is still married except for us. Tried not to see that as a failure…lol. In the afternoon, we headed out to his oldest sister’s house (nephews’ mom) for an Easter potluck with family members on both sides of her family and neighbours. They have 45 acres of wilderness so XH and I went on a bit of a hike and he talked about wanting to build a tiny house out there.
XH had to turn in early on Sunday night so I took a drive to the next town over where I had lived after he and I separated. It is a tourism Mecca in the summer time and has grown a fair amount - especially in the downtown area. The drive was bizarrely emotional for me. Not sure why. I think i was maybe just thinking about all of the time that had passed since I moved and what my life might have been like if I’d made different decisions. Also thinking about how quickly time passes and how precious life is.
Speaking of…found out yesterday that one of my college roommates died on Sunday. She had pancreatic cancer and was 53. I had heard recently that she wasn’t well and had planned to reach out to her when I got back from my visit but sadly I waited too long. Her funeral is tomorrow afternoon. Not sure if I am going yet or not. We were good friends back in the day but had lost touch over the years so it feels a bit awkward to show up for her funeral when I haven’t seen her in so long. She was such a fun and happy person. When I close my eyes, I can still hear her laugh. It was infectious. I remember she met her husband half way through our school year and decided not to come back after that. I thought she was nuts for going back to our home town but this year was their 30th anniversary so I guess she made a good decision after all.
On the XH2 front… his wife returned home on Tuesday. She is pretty weak and needs a walker to get around. D14 says she seems “half there” so I imagine she is on some heavy duty medication. Also probably pretty depressed given her situation. From what I have read about liver transplants, she is facing an uphill battle. It is promising that she’s been able to return home though so maybe there is more hope than what I had surmised. Keeping my fingers crossed for them.
Anyway…that’s all for now. Planning another visit to XH’s in July. It is his parents’ 60th wedding anniversary so I want to be there to wish them well. Sister and BIL are probably coming too.
