D- thank you for the thoughts and prayers. I know you are going to embrace your new job and position and give it your all. Change can be scary, questioning whether it is the right move or not, but it’s something to embrace

I had a pretty weird day and not in a good way. First I woke up with vertigo. It’s happened to me once before. It’s awful. Eventually it went away by like 2pm. Then. I walk into work. heroin guy’s mom and dad work at my hospital. As I’m walking in I see his dad. Super friendly guy, he doesn’t know who I am yet in relation to his son yet. His dad is joking around with me saying let’s ditch this place, the weather is too nice. He then asks my name and I tell him. He realized who I was. And brings me in for a hug! He goes on and says he hopes me and his son hang out soon and that he’s a great guy and blah blah blah. This is really hard. I work Im a hospital where everyone knows everyone. I will never sh!t where I eat again. This really stinks all around. I have to figure this out.

Then. One of my coworkers found out who the other interview was. And I was crushed. I didn’t expect it to be that person. She works in our department but isn’t a case manager . She doesn’t know the job like o do, but she would make a great manager. My competition is really stiff. I honestly think she is going to beat me out. While I had coworkers who personally asked me to apply because they think I would be great, I also found out 2 coworkers don’t want me to lose my position because they hate doing weekends and they know I will do them.

And just then when I realized I likely won’t get it, I realized I really want it. Not only for the new opportunity which I’m excited about, but I can’t lie. Not working a million days a week and making enough money in one job was something that I need in my life. I can’t sustain this anymore.

I was feeling really hopeful a positive change was coming. I needed something. I could almost taste it. And now, I feel so sad. Definitely down in the dumps today and I ate a lot of carbs, which I never do anymore. But they made me feel a little better, lol