I called H to make sure he had walked home okay from the U-Haul place. He said he was out and about doing errands, and then asked me if I wanted to have lunch.

While H was filling his car up with gas, I noticed a cigarette case. It wasn't his--I know what his looks like. I picked it up for a minute, and the letters on the front weren't from anybody that I could recall him mentioning. I think it may have been roommate's, but who knows. I thought about asking him, but decided to just let it go. I was afraid I would come across as too nosy.

Lunch was pleasant. He wound up buying for me. Then we drove around to find something for him. He said the best part was just being with me. I told him, while we were driving, one of my favorites things to do with him was ride with him in the car while we goofed off to the music--that's why I liked to go with him when he did errands.

H told me when he had been engaged before, he hadn't enjoyed doing all the pre-wedding prep stuff. But with me, it had been fun. That he had actually liked running around with me to get ready for the wedding.

We took our food to a park. On the way there, I asked him if he would be able to go with me Saturday to see my aunt. I just knew this conversation was like poking there bear, since it involves my family... He wanted to know if I had asked my parents if he could go yet. I said it was okay. He got kind of irritated, said he didn't want me to just "spring any surprises" on him if he went.

I told H that my dad had asked if I wanted to ride with them, and that I had told my dad I wouldn't--that I would be riding with H, since I had invited him. H asked what he said. I told H my dad just said "okay." H said maybe he shouldn't go, then. I wanted to snap at him--tell him the convo with my dad caught me off guard, I did mention it to him, he was just being boarish since I didn't say it the way he wanted. But that sounded like a petty argument, and I couldn't figure out a good response. So I was quiet. (Which was actually something different for me, not pushing the issue.)

We were both quiet for a few minutes, and the car was tense. He asked if something was the correct turn, and I sait it was. We pulled into the park, up to a bench, and sat down to eat.

I think we both forgot about the almost-argument. H pulled me close to him on the bench. I had already finished eating, so I offered to give him a massage. He turned around, put his back to me, and I began rubbing his lower back, then shoulders, then arms.

He leaned back on me, told me that he wished this mess hadn't gotten so big. I told him I knew he loved me, since had come back twice now. He said he would never leave again. That he would just go hang out at his mom's for awhile if he felt suffocated again.

I gave him a few kisses on the back of his neck, and actually managed to give him goosebumps. That somehow made me feel really good--that I could still do that. I really wish we had the time (and a place!) to ML, and so did he. I was feely really, really sappy--enjoying holding him, the pleasant weather, just our time together. I know, especially for H, it's a very emotional thing with me. One of his ways of showing me how much he cares.

H had to take me back to work. He commented that he wanted to stop by my place to "see the cats" and maybe take a nap. he was sort of asking if it was okay, without making it sound like a question. Sounded suspiciously to me like he didn't want to go to his place, for whatever reason. I think he's feeling less and less comfortable there.

He didn't want to let me out of the car. Kept insisting I kiss him. I managed to give him goosebumps again. He told me he still gets butterflies around me...that sometimes he still gets nervous when he's with me.

H called me back not too long after I went back in to work. I missed the call, and he left me a cute vmail. Said he knew I had just left, but he missed me already. ( ) That he couldn't help being a sap, and wished I hadn't had to go back to work.

[color:"purple"]Nevanna[/color]