Originally Posted by BL42
Covert contracts can lead to resentment which can build up and cause major problems over time. Work on this aspect of your personality. Learn to be more direction and upfront with your needs. You can be a fantastic father but also be treating your W poorly due to resentment.

I just realized this aspect of me in this thread itself. Will have to prep my mind to rectify this. Furthermore, over time I began to believe that not recognizing my contributions is part of her personality (which it probably is but I should not let that affect me). I think training my mind to recognize covert contracts and fix them will make me feel lighter.

Originally Posted by BL42
Originally Posted by LH19
If the A is still going on she is not trying to reconcile. Only going through the motions for whatever ulterior motive she has at the moment.
^Yep. If she's having an active affair she's acting like an addict - don't even try to get her to reconile - just work on yourself and be there for your son.

Yes I am not trying to make her reconcile. But as mentioned earlier she could be thinking I am actively trying to make her reconcile by doing a whole bunch of changes. Not getting annoyed at her and not raising my voice is the biggest 180 she has noticed. She has asked irritatedly - "why didn't you make these changes last year?".