Many LBS think a WS going to counseling is good team. Most ICs validate the LBS's narrative to keep their business.
I did not get a good feeling about her IC from the start (more than a year ago) when she did not even tell me what she wanted to see IC for. Otoh, when I had an IC in the past, I discussed quite a bit with her. I still trusted her and did not see any reason to inquire further. But she slowly started changing in strange ways (like getting increasingly snappy at me and marked increase in disregard too). After BD, she told me that her counsellor helped her get over me. It's quite possible that she was actively using him to get over me.
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Originally Posted by PeterB
At times she does directly bring up conflicts in her mind. I avoid responding to them. Is there any such situation where I should tell her something like - "thats your job to worry about, not mine"
No! Validate. I understand you feel conflicted.
Got it.
Two days ago, she suddenly asked me, - "Are all your changes going to be permanent?".
Few hours later she initiated a chat where she started talking about why she decided to D. During that she asked me, - "Are you changing for me or for yourself?"
What am I to make of these two questions, and how should I answer? I went a bit evasive and not sure if I did a good job answering them. But I have a feeling she will pop these questions again.
