Time goes on. One would not see change in my situation in the short term, but if I look long term I see very slow improvement. It has been well over 3 years, halfway to 4 since things went off the rails.
I don't have much to say about S because I don't need to know what's going on and honestly i am.tired of thinking about it. Interactions are cordial but reading any meaning into this is a fools errand.
PTSD continues to be my challenge at the moment. Ic says my entire childhood could be considered a massive traumatic event. Couple that with the military ptsd and it can get overwhelming. I take some supplement to even my spinning thoughts after the nightmares, it seems to keep me even. It does blunt some of the good feelings but that's part of it I suppose.
I am seeing my family of origin Rs in a new light and realizing that rarely could I count on them for support. After a lot of work with ic I have realized I took it upon myself to try to keep that dysfunctional unit going for almost 4 decades. Wow. Now I know why I am so tired.
Pulling back from everyone and everything to take a good hard look at my life has been interesting experience. It is sometimes a lonely place, but I have tried to embrace the alone moments and realize that individuals are responsible for their own lives and that nobody can live your life for you.
Other than that life goes on. I hope you are all well. Remember to take it one day at a time
