Need advice: wife of 10 years wants out

[LH19]

Do you think there is a pattern among WAS in EA/PA that they will keep A going even after showing that they are actually trying to get back into a R with LBS (trying to get best of both worlds while using both AP and LBS).

If the A is still going on she is not trying to reconcile. Only going through the motions for whatever ulterior motive she has at the moment.

Does love ever figure anywhere in this equation? Does love ever remain if a spouse cheats on the other?

Love is a choice so yeah it can especially if there is remorse on the cheaters part.

I think going GAL/LR and liberating oneself is great but there seems to be a fundamental contradiction within the goal of LR and the debris of a betrayal.

Can you explain more what you mean here?

This can't be repeated enough - thanks. Btw, I have never wanted her to stop talking to her IC. Soon after BD I did tell her a few times that he is destroying our marriage. I have a friend in his 50s whose wife divorced him. During a fight she revealed to him that her counsellor encouraged her to actively go out and have extramarital affairs - told her to have one-night stands and see how it feels. And she did. So I know what they are capable of. At this time though, I couldn't care less about her counsellor.

Many LBS think a WS going to counseling is good team. Most ICs validate the LBS's narrative to keep their business.

At times she does directly bring up conflicts in her mind. I avoid responding to them. Is there any such situation where I should tell her something like - "thats your job to worry about, not mine"

No! Validate. I understand you feel conflicted.

I am not going to move out - hell no. Should I at some point ask her to move out? For example, if I find out that she is soon going to restart PA (that would be the time when she decides to visit the place where OM lives).

You can ask her to move out but legally she doesn't have to go anywhere. Speak to a lawyer to find out your rights in your area.