OMG, did I ever have a long night...things really hit the fan...

I hadn't heard from H when I went to bed, so I gave him a call. He didn't answer, so I left him a brief message--have a goodnight, ILY, hopefully I'll see you later. No big deal.

Maybe 30 minutes later he called me. Sounded stressed. Said he had a really big problem, and needed a major favor. I asked what it was. He asked if I could get my parents' van, because he had to move his stuff right then. That roommate had just gone crazy, she had taken off, and he was really worried because he had seen her just go ballistic around other people, and was afraid she might do something to his stuff. I asked him if he was afraid she might tell me stuff like they had slept together, and he said that thought had occurred to him. (Since she's pulled a similar stunt before, with another person.) I told him that I would ask him, and of course believe him over her.

I was on the grumpy side--I needed to go to bed, I'm trying to get hired on full-time by this company right now. Driving to my parents' would be an extra hour, and then I would have to explain why, in the middle of the night, I was borrowing the van to help H (whom they don't like right now). Not fun.

I talked him out of that plan, said I would come over, we could load up our two cars, and take all of the most valuable/important stuff to my place. He had a friend who could help him the next day. I said I didn't mind helping him, but I just couldn't stay up all night.

H asked me to call him when I got to his place, in case she showed up again. I said he could trust me, I would behave. He said it wasn't me he was worried about, that he did trust me. That he was actually concerned she might end up stalking him (he's been stalked before, and I guess she's acting the same way.) So I said I just needed to get dressed, I would be there in about 45 minutes.

I was pretty tired on the way over. I thought to myself I must really love him to do this for him... And, annoyingly, I was starting to get hungry. I called H when I got in the parking lot, and he told me to come on up. When I got there, I was feeling a little awkward, so I just knocked on the door. He told me to come on in. He turned around, said I looked good. Um, yeah. I was half asleep, wearing a tank top and green khakis--which I have dubbed my "moving pants" since they have bleach stains and accompanying holes. But it was still nice to hear.

He gave me a big hug, told me he appreciated the help. And that he would thank me very specifically later...

I didn't feel so funny in the place this time. Pretty much everything was boxed up. Actually, it felt like I should be home and going to bed. Weird...

H prioritized what was most important/hard to replace, and we packed up that stuff into my car. I was in that sleep-deprived haze, where I felt like a walking zombie. He commented that I wasn't irritating him moving all of this stuff like I had in the past. I commented, "I'm not complaining," meaning I thought it was a good thing--and then he turned to me, like a light bulb went off and said, "That's the reason. You're not complaining." Yeah, I'll have to remember that. He joked maybe the next time we move, I should be half-asleep.

H then commented that he still wouldn't be helping me move to my new apartment in two weeks. I don't think the (really bad) irony was lost on him that he forced me out of the apartment, wasn't any help, and now I am helping him move out of it. Because then he said he just wasn't comfortable being around my parents. Until last night, his reasoning had been he didn't want to get mad at me--and he had actually refused any offers up until that point I had made to help him move, for the same reason. But I understand. It's too awkward for him to be around them right now, and to be honest, that's perfectly fine with me at this point.

I could tell I was getting a little irritated with him--about stupid things, again. And I know why, now. I needed to have that argument with him. (Doesn't that sound silly??) Kind of showed me I was right about the anger coming out in a much more passive agressive way than if I just blew up at him and got it over with.

After we packed as much as we could fit, H said he needed a couple of things and then we would be ready. He asked me to wait for him, so I did. I was afraid to sit down, in case I couldn't get back up. H commented that roommate reminded him of this woman from one of the telenovelas (Spanish-language soap operas) who was secretly in love with some guy, and just loses it. I managed to keep my mouth shut on that one.

Unloading was quicker, and we just dumped all the stuff in my living room. As he was letting the cats out, he told me he had missed my call earlier because he was having an argument with roommate. I mentioned, from the outside, it looks like a couple breaking up. He said he knew that, and it really weirded him out. He kept saying "you think you know someone" or "you just try to be nice."

I asked him if I could ask him a question. He said I could. I asked if they had done anything. He said no. He said one time when they were both really drunk, she had commented "It would be nice if we hooked up." And then he had told her that he had no intentions of doing that, and she didn't really want that either. He told me that whole conversation had made him uncomfortable...that that's when he knew he wanted to come back to me, that he just wanted his wife. I asked him when that was. He said about two months ago. Which...I guess would be about right. That's when he started coming around more, showing more of an interest.

I told him that she was acting exactly the same way his "best friend" did when he told her he was coming back to his wife. Exactly. (And I found out, eventually, that he and "best friend" had slept together.) He said he knew that. He said roommate had been acting funny ever since he told her he was going to leave (I'm assuming he meant for the army). That he had asked her what he could do to make it better, and she had said "stay."

Okay, now I know I'm not exaggerating this in my mind. The woman at one point said she thought it would be a good thing if they got together, and then flips out because he's leaving. WTF??? Is he really that ignorant!? Okay, admittedly, he's at least acknowledging that she's acting off her rocker. But come on the woman acts like she has some sort of claim on him!

H was sweet, decided to do something to help me go to sleep since it was around 3am. I made a half-hearted protest that I was too tired, I wasn't interested...but H went after me anyway. I think it was his way of saying "thank you."

I tried to go to sleep, and he went to play some online game on my computer. But I was still mad. I had put it off because, well, obviously there was a bigger problem. I finally got up a few minutes later, and went in there. H asked me what was wrong, and I told him I was mad.

He got pretty upset, said he hadn't done anything, he was doing everything he could to get out. I said I knew that, but I was still mad. This conversation spiraled out of control pretty quickly. I tried to, calmly, explain why I was mad--that I was still hurt, I was mad about roommate, and I just needed to vent. That I knew, and I mean really knew he felt bad and was doing everything he could to take care of it. I tried to explain that I just needed to let the anger out, I just needed to vent. He said it hurt his feelings. Then he took me by the hand, said I needed to go to sleep, and put me back in bed. He knew I was up way too late.

I noticed after H came to bed, he kept wanting me to hold him or lay on him--kept pulling me over toward him. One time I remember he must have thought I was uncomfortable, with my head sort of on his shoulder, because he moved my pillow to make sure my head was supported and I wouldn't get a crooked neck.

I was sleeping on the floor again, because of my back. (It's been doing wonders.) I had my back to the dresser, and was laying on my H, when something fell and hit me on the back. I remember saying "OW!" pretty loudly (more out of the fact that I was surprised and confused, than anything else), and then H asked me what was wrong. It took me a minute to figure out the small table by the bed had fallen over, and the contents dumped on top of me.

I picked up the stuff, and righted the table. H asked how it had fallen, and I told him I assumed one of the cats did it. He told me to move closer to him, so it wouldn't fall on my head.

I had a really hard time getting up this morning (not surprisingly, I had less than four hours of sleep). When I did get up, H tried to pull me back down, but I told him I really didn't have time--I had gotten up, basically, when I needed to leave.

And now I'm stressed out. I'm not totally convinced there wasn't some sort of PA with roommate. He's sounding exactly the same as he did before. He told me, with "best friend" that they had "made out a little"--and then, the next day, admitted they had sex. So I'm really paranoid about this whole mess. Obviously, H wants to be with me...but, then again, he acted this way then, too. I'm getting that weird feeling he's not telling me the whole truth, and it's usually right... I really don't want to have to go through this again, I just want to get on with my life!

[color:"purple"]Nevanna[/color]