Sorry to see you still are struggling with dropping the rope. I understand, I had a hard time too. However all you’re doing by maintaining this attachment is hurting yourself. You have to let go. As of today you are fired as her husband. I can’t stress that enough.
Your kids are adults. I don’t understand why they are as involved as they are.
I don’t like speaking in absolutes, because every situation is different. But this isn’t all of a sudden. Your stbxw is just attempting to start over with her partner. I understand that hard to watch from the sidelines. But she’s been planning, and acting on this for longer than a few months. This may be new to you, but it’s not for her.
She’s done and has been done. Your marriage is over. I can’t be anymore blunt than that. The point of all this isn’t to save your marriage. At least not this version of it. The point is to get her to be interested in you again. And someone who is weak, stalking, causing her issues isn’t attractive or interesting. Getting a life takes the focus off this terrible situation, allows you to mentally move forward all while peaking her interest of why are you so happy.
Shaming her, or isolating her will do nothing but push her further away. She doesn’t care how you feel about it, she doesn’t care how her kids feel about it, and she doesn’t care what her parents think about it. The reality is they all will forgive her and move on. And she knows it.
Take the focus off her, place it on yourself, stop having expectations that this is a nightmare you’ll wake up from. Focus on yourself. Go have fun, stop being available. Believe nothing of what she says and only half of what she does.
Me: 40 EX:37 Together 17 years Married 16 years 5 kids, 20,18,15,14,11
