Well, I found out the deal with the shirt... H had called me to tell me loved me (ahhh), and I brought it up. He said that he left it because he thought it was mine. He apologized, said it must have gotten mixed in accidentally. (I knew that already.)

I told him that it was kind of petty, but I just couldn't bring myself to wash it. H said it was petty. (Gee, thanks...I don't think he realizes how sensitized someone in my position gets to this kind of stuff.) I told him, in a nice voice, I wasn't mean, that I had admitted my own fault and it didn't feel good when he rubbed it in. He said he had only been kidding, and then began to chant "petty petty petty" into the phone. Okay, so he was trying to cheer me up. I told him I had considered doing worse to it, and he said he knew that.

We also talked about how he didn't like the fighting. I said I hadn't either. He said he hates fighting, because he always feel bad afterward. I said me, too. He said he always gets upset afterward because he can't stand hurting my feelings. I said I always felt the same way. Then I told him, I would have to start a fight with him just so we could make up... He laughed at that.

I then asked him if he was scared. He said, "Of what?" I said "us." He paused, said that he was. I said I wasn't. He asked why. I said I felt like we had been through the worst, and that I thought we were going to be just fine. He said he hoped so--and that that made him feel better.

The rest of our conversation was pretty light. Talked about a game he bought for us on for his SP (original Zelda). He sounded much calmer than earlier. Said he would be over later to spend the night. I teased him with some dirty talk on the phone...he said I had better stop, or he was just going to come over and see me right then. I said it had been awhile since I had teased him over the phone. I then opened my big mouth and said that, at that point, I knew he was just coming to see me for sex.

He sounded kind of hurt, then. (Never mind, this was right after I had moved out, and he kept insisting it "didn't mean anything" and "didn't mean we were getting back together" and asking me if I was "reading too much into it.") I said it was okay, it was some of the best sex we had ever had! He said it wasn't just sex to him...he pointed out that he had held me afterward, and said ILY, and he had just wanted to see me, too. Interesting how, now, he's sort of seeing the past in a different light. At the time, he kept insisting it wasn't necessarily leading somewhere. I had kind of suspected that, at the time, he was really trying to convince himself, not me. I really should have just not brought it up at all.

[color:"purple"]Nevanna[/color]