Wow - phone call from a friend yesterday. She’d gotten herself involved with a guy who seemed great - gave her presents, said all the right things. He was either someone she knew growing up, or a friend of those friends. After a few months she moved to his state to live with him.
Over the next few months he became verbally abusive and controlling. That phone he gave her? Had tracking software installed so he could see everything she was doing.
She got smart and one day while he was at work she packed up her cats and drove back to her home many states away. But when he showed up all apologetic she let him into her place. Later she catches him changing passwords on her accounts and she kicks him out. He smashed her phone because she was trying to call the police and proceeds to post revenge porn and harass her such that she loses her job.
She’s got a restraining order and a legal case against him. He’s a police officer which makes it extra scary. She’s getting a handle on her codependency issues.
Just another cautionary tale for middle aged dating, and another reason not to live with somebody for at least a year!
Also - be extra wary dating police officers. Now, there are lots of fine police officers, my brother was one. But there definitely are two issues that can come up. One is their irregular hours do provide lots of opportunity for infidelity and that happens a lot. The other is that sociopaths are also drawn to the profession and not always successfully weeded out. In this guy’s case, he’s a sociopath with a gun.
If it looks too good to be true, it probably is. Take your time to get to know someone you’re dating.
