Hi Peter, some forum members have turned affair or other situations around.
Those situations took many months. The WAS had to face the possibility of losing their Plan B (spouse), miss them, and be willing to make meaningful amends. Being mean, cold, etc. or "nicing" them are not typically on that path. Being able to validate their feelings, face and correct any misbehaviors that contributed to the relationship's downfall, setting boundaries that respect you and your values and enable you to endure this, and moving on can all be helpful.
Yes, I am preparing for a long haul, even though I don't know what it will look like. What if she travels to where the OM lives and meets him again? How do you think that will change the dynamic?
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Be that success story who gets the girl in the end (if you still want her) like Steve, May, or a couple of others here. Show us your attempts at validation. Tell us about your 180s and GAL game. What boundaries are you setting that respect you, your values, and enable you to endure this?
I am working out again - quite a bit actually. It's been a month, but WAW recently commented that my body looks great. Then she said something like "if we divorce then another woman will get lucky". I don't really care what she thinks about me working out but can't help thinking that these are bizarre statements. Also taken up several courses, going out for meals & movies with friends and generally feeling upbeat.
There have been 180s and actions perceived as 180s by WAW. To clarify the latter, as I mentioned earlier, she has always denied that I do anything important around the house. That is something I strongly disagree and at times I even made lists of things I did that day and shown it to her. She would have no answer at the time but weeks later relapse back into saying that I don't do anything. Last few days I offered to do certain things that surprised her. In reality all I did was offer it in a way that I didn't previously. I used to do the actual item regularly even before.
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If you choose sex, read up on being safe with casual sex partners who are simultaneously sleeping with others. Common precautions include condoms and regular STI screenings. As they say, if you aren't ready to talk about safe sex, you're not ready to have it!
