Husband MLC/Carzy

[BL42]

Stella20,

Saw H today, he needed me to sign the tax papers and write out a check, between state and federal it was a wash, so that was good.

Not sure you needed to see him for this. Mail, lawyer, or tax attorney/accountant could've worked with you on it. Did you consult an expert on the tax breakdown to get the best deal (filing jointly vs. single)? I recall we discuss that in your thread awhile back.

He came to the house and got to see the fur babies.

Very sure he didn't have to come into your house.

He kept telling me he would help with the pool if I needed him to, I really didn't give him a answer.

Ok, but could you have given him a firm & direct "No thanks" rather than a vague wishy-washy non-answer?

I have not contacted him in a few weeks

Good!

but he keeps texting my during the week. I answer if it is something important, but I wait a half of day or longer to respond.

Good.

But I said to him, you must really miss the cats.. he said yeah I really do... and then I asked... do you miss your wife too.. He said yes, I already told you I miss everything.. then he gave me the tightest huge.. Then he said he had to get back to work so I walked him out.

Ummm..."do you miss your wife too"? This is clearly pressure / R talk, which is not recommended, but more importantly do you remember your 3/27 post? He's cheated on your multiple times throughout the entirety of your marriage??? Think of that when you need strength not to float these ideas.

I know I should not have asked him that but oh well, sometimes my filter fails me

You say you know, but...

...I still love the man he was, I know he is not that man anymore.

Not sure he ever was that man, based on your 3/27 post.

I worry that when the D and the finacial impact to him hits, that he will go farther off the deep in.

He should no longer be your concern. Don't waste another minute worrying about his future.

I have to look out for me now, this was his choice, not mine.

Absolutely correct. Now...can you do it?

Divorce is less than 2 months out now, June 6th, talked to my L last week. Instead of life insurance on H he is going to try to keep my name on his retirement accounts as the benefactor as H is living a very unhealth rockstar life right now.(So if he dies before the alimony is up that would be the back up)...Spending money like its going out of style Also L is going to push for Alimony until I am 65, due to my bad back and health issues caused from what H has/ is putting me through. But says he will not accept anything less than half the marriage And also his social securty.. I will not pay taxes on Alimony, confirmed that with the lawyer, H will have to cough up 50% of his gross,base and bonus check, but still pay taxes on all of it. He is not going to have much left to live on if my L can pull this off.

I don't know your financial details or jurisdiction's laws, but sounds like your L has given you the advice you need and your pushing for what you deserve under the law. Good. Don't settle for less than you're entitled to.

I have been doing pretty good at GAL, going out on the weekends. Everyone wants me to meet there single friends...I am not ready, I just can't.. yet.. I don't know if I will ever beable to let another man close to me. And it would not be fair to someone for me to even try with at this point.

Good on the GAL and going out. Even better on the recognition you're not ready. You don't have to decide now whether you'll ever date, but smart to wait while you're healing and working on yourself.

Seeing H today made me miss him, but I'll be okay...I will always love the man I knew, I was happy in our marriage, but I that marriage is dead.

You recognize seeing him hurt detachment. Next time don't do anything in person and deal over email or through Ls.

Hang in there, Stella20. You'll get through this.