debcb,

Anything I can do to help.

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it sounds to me like your H is very much wanting to please you



I think so, too. He's naturally got a people-pleasing personality (he's a bartender), but I think, on top if it, the guilt is getting to him. Which, on the one hand, makes me feel better, because it means he accepts responsibility for his part--but, on the other, I don't want him to hurt. I just want to work throught it, and get on with our lives. And have some babies...

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It's so hard to let go of some of this stuff, isnt it?



Yeah, it is. I almost think it's human nature to hold a grudge. I'm sure my anger comes throught pretty clearly at times. But I'm releasing here more than anywhere else. Don't want to punish H anymore--I think he's doing that on his own, without me making things worse.

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You were nice to not trash the room mates' shirt....my temper might have gotten the best of me if I came across it.




Oh, it crossed my mind. I thought it might have been fun to, oh, burn it or rip it shreds. I went through a phase where I did that with stuff from "best friend" (I can't ever seem to bring myself to say xOW...makes it too real...), and in the end, I think it actually fueled my anger. Learning from my own mistakes.

I'm not sure that I have a special insight...I've just spent more time in the last two months being introspective than I have in my entire life. It's been, ironically, a very good experience for me. In the end, I'm thinking the personal rewards and the things I've learned are going to be more valuable than all the heartache. Pain is temporary. What I'm doing are life changes.

[color:"purple"]Nevanna[/color]