Hi BL! Sounds like you have a fun time planned with your kids. And you are right, it is not sustainable to bend over backwards to prove to your kids your love. I understand why you felt the need for a while, but it’s not a realistic or a long term way of parenting. I dated a guy who was like that. It was just too much.

As far as your firing on all cylinders with work, GAL, school, gym, kids….. also not sustainable! For some reason is Americans feel the need to burn our selves out and over commit ourselves. Why? It’a not likely a depression that is causing you to slow down. Sometimes too much is too much. We are not built for that. My daughter is away. Friday night was supposed to be drinks with coworkers. Saturday night dinner with a friend, Sunday after work my date. On Friday I had an annoying headache and I just didn’t feel like going out for drinks. I felt like being alone in my sweats on my couch. And that’s normal! I get FOMO sometimes, but I needed to recharge. I don’t need to accept every social invite. I don’t need to be in the gym every day . Life needs to be sustainable. You are burning out and it’s OK to chill!

As far as dating. Let me put some things in perspective for you with OLD. You obviously are able to say you are a good catch and why you are a good catch and it makes total sense to you because you know you. And OLD profile is a small blurb and view of you. No one can possibly know how good of a catch you are from an OLD profile. You certainly can’t say what a great father you are and how much you make, and all do that stuff. You’ll come off stuck up and full of yourself. The only way someone can get to know this stuff is by dating you.

Now how to get a date? Being above average in looks helps. For sure. But there a bunch of 6ft tall above average looks guys online. So what does your profile read? What stands out? Do you say the same thing as others? My profile is a spoof on what guys write. This is what mine reads currently:


“Don’t worry guys, I already know you love to laugh, hate drama and like good vibes only!” Your kids are your number one priority ( I sure hope so) and let me guess, you are not vanilla!”

Like every single guy has one, if not all of these in their profile. They don’t stand out. Women aren’t as visual as men. We read and look and something needs to pique our interest.

So what does your profile say? What stands out ? Why would someone want to date you from that small glimpse of yourself ?