I think you know what you're getting w/ExH and Pilot at this point, but your attitude about it seems better in your latest post, so if you're comfortable with and accepting of what they're offering then good for you.
Me:39 Ex-W:37 M:7 T: 9 S:6 D:3 BD/IHS/Confirm EA/PA: Feb '20 OM1 affair ends: May '20 W/OM2 & moves out: June-July '20 W files for D: Jul20 OM2 confirmed: 9/2020 Divorced: May '21
Hmmmmmm so you were in my state. Now that you’re gone and safely home, where were you? The Dells? Door County? Two of my leading guesses. We had 70 one day so 65 would fit. Glad you enjoyed it. As you experienced if you don’t like the weather just wait a few hours and it will change from 65 to snow - sounds ‘bout right.
DonH Midwest Me 56 WAW-EXW 55 Met 11/95 / Married 5/00 Bomb 6/20/05 / She Filed on 6/2/06 / Divorced on 10/9/06 4 who'd qualify as GF since D & dated about 25 women since D
Hmmmmmm so you were in my state. Now that you’re gone and safely home, where were you? The Dells? Door County? Two of my leading guesses. We had 70 one day so 65 would fit. Glad you enjoyed it. As you experienced if you don’t like the weather just wait a few hours and it will change from 65 to snow - sounds ‘bout right.
I was in Lake Geneva!!! I've always loved driving through that area and was so happy I could stay a week there.
Oh even closer! I do gigs there a few times a year. Very fun town especially in summer. If the resort you stayed at had a small air field/airport it was once the Playboy Club - though that ended 40 years ago already.
DonH Midwest Me 56 WAW-EXW 55 Met 11/95 / Married 5/00 Bomb 6/20/05 / She Filed on 6/2/06 / Divorced on 10/9/06 4 who'd qualify as GF since D & dated about 25 women since D
Oh even closer! I do gigs there a few times a year. Very fun town especially in summer. If the resort you stayed at had a small air field/airport it was once the Playboy Club - though that ended 40 years ago already.
Oh, that's really cool! Haha... once the Playboy Club! It was a lovely resort but now I'm seeing it in a whole new light!
I've been avoiding XH. Supposedly the timeshare paperwork is done but I need to follow up with the timeshare because I didn't sign anything. He also paid off my son's car about a month ago and still hasn't gotten the title to me. I really don't want to deal with him so I've been putting off finishing up the last of our business items. There is still one box of mixed items at my house - mostly just pictures. His pictures prior to our marriage mixed in with ours. The last time I sat down to go through it a year ago I had to stop. UGH - I'm teary eye just thinking about the task.
But, that's not what's got me down.
So two weeks ago Pilot was very chatty and staying in touch, asked me out, etc. Then when he was gone for work he was less chatty but it was a stressful weather week. He was home but talked about a lot of things he had going on so I just accepted he was busy and went about my week.
I texted him Saturday that I had friends playing a X bar but I had no energy (just got off from a busy day at work). Told him I'd like to see him again but I knew he was busy and he had my number. Went about my day.
He became pretty chatty. Teased me that I have a lot of time in bars while he is at home fixing broken kitchen cabinets. I responded I wasn't going anywhere as I was still in work out clothes crashed on the couch - asked about his broken cabinets and if he had hosted a rave? I was trying to keep it fun. He just responded no and then what he did to fix said cabinet. I replied that it sounded like he had it under control. To which he said - we shall see.
I left the convo at that. I know he was leaving to return to work on Monday. I went about my Saturday night watching Netflix.
Two hours later he randomly texts me - Saturday night and just bought X some kibble on X.com.
I just responded - I'm sure X appreciates it. But that's more of a Sunday morning chore than a Saturday night thing... just sayin'.
Again ---- just tyring to keep it light and funny. I mean who sits around at 15yr old dreaming of being adult and spending their Saturday nights buying dog food.... Living the dream right???
He literally responded. "Don't always have a choice with the schedule. But you don't seem to understand that".
W.... T.... F....
I wish I had just taken the high road and said "you don't think I understand?" But, I got rather hurt and therefore defensive.
ME: "uhm... I do understand. I was just teasing you. I know you've had a busy week. You prefer flying at night and that's a huge adjustment when you are gone for work and then get back home with your sleep schedule. My XH worked 3rds and more often than not 12hr shifts 7days a week with a 2hr round trip daily commute. I'm well versed in difficult work schedules and know I have nothing to complain about with a 5min trip to work. I'm sure its a lot of stress making sure things go smoothly when you are gone with babies that have big medical needs. If you felt I was not understanding then I do apologize. Please have a good rest of the weekend."
AND ---- nothing. I get it. From my past experience he truly seems to be a dismissive avoidant so I don't expect to hear from him.
I'm just super angry that he jumps to such a conclusion.
I will not get into another pissing match with a guy over who has the harder work schedule or the most stress. I went a decade never being allowed to be tired or to have a bad day or to ever talk about my day. He has been living this life for the last 9yr. I don't doubt it gets super stressful. But, what a pig for telling me I don't get it.
Sorry - just super angry and hurt by his dumb comment.
I see nothing wrong with your response to the kibble message though you could have been more flirty. Your mistake was a long drawn out justification of a response. I do understand. I was just teasing you. Then drop it.
So you were never allowed to be tired or talk about your day with your exh? He is sounding more and more like a catch lol.
Zero expectations with Pilot. He is not a one woman kind of guy. He's a ten percenter who is clogging up the entire sexual market place.
Yes. It was late at night and I was tired. I knew his text about the dog kibble was a bid for attention. I almost didn't respond but I didn't want to ignore him. I should have added some emojis so he could better tell my intent in my reply?
His response hurt my feelings so I ended up word vomitting... sigh.
Well my list of red flags with him is looooonnnngggg.
I don't think he will contact me again... a little bit of a bummer because I was really looking forward to another roll in the hay with him. I haven't been on any dating sites since Oct and I'm choosing not to return to them until June or July.
Another example of why phone calls are much more preferable to text messages when it comes to communicating with people you don’t know really well and vice versa. Sounds like you may have touched a nerve you didn’t know existed and that would have been a much easier fix if you had been having a telephone conversation. His response to your one text makes me think his belief that you don’t understand his schedule may have been percolating for a while and he just used this to express what was on his mind. Maybe you have made other comments in the past? Or he has had this experience with other women?
Don’t beat yourself up for word vomiting. I think many people would have a tendency to do that when they are being accused of something they weren’t actually doing. I wouldn’t be so sure you won’t hear from him again KC. He may reach out once he has had some time to reflect.
