WAW w/Exit Affair or WW? - Divorced Anyway (6)

[BL42]

It's been awhile since my last update...

My son turned 7 last month. We went all out to throw him a family party in the theme he wanted the weekend before his birthday. He loved it and all his presents, and I could tell he felt genuinely happy and loved to be with me, his sister, my parents, and my sister and nice who came in from out of town. ExW for some reason offered me to switch dinner nights the following week so I could spend his actual birthday with him despite it being her year, which was oddly/surprisingly nice added bonus and because he didn't have school the next day he stayed overnight too and we spent the next day together as well.

This week the kids have Spring Break so I'm taking them on a few overnights to a theme park, kids museum, and baseball game. Fingers cross on the weather, but looking forward to making some memories. We're also going to visit my sister and her family next weekend which should be fun S7 and D3 love being there and playing with their aunt, uncle, and cousin. ExW offered to split Easter even though it's her year so it's nice she's offering me up more time with the kids - some reasonableness in an otherwise unreasonable situation she caused.

Overall though, and not sure the right word, but I feel like I've had a bit of regression or backslide lately. Maybe it's a hint of depression not giving me as much energy. Just seemed like I was firing on all cylinders in the Fall and really crushing it in so many areas (kids, work, grad school, gym routine...etc.) whereas the last month or two I've been more worn down. For example, I would get back from a day of work and coaching son's soccer and go right to the gym but lately I've haven't found the energy and instead skipped it to go home and just relax. Also I got an A in my grad school course last year but didn't pick it up this semester.

It's almost like I was on a full out sprint the last last and a half to do absolutely everything I could (especially for the kids) and maybe that's not sustainable over the long run and it's catching up to me. I can't tell you how much I've bent over backwards with flexing out at work to spend as much time as possible with them and show them they're loved, especially now when they're so young and have more time I want to maximize it. As they get older they'll have more of their own activities and interests. Even next year when my daughter is in school longer days I'll probably have more of a breather.

I've continued to do well GAL'ing with my buddies on my free time. However, I've slacked at the gym lately and am not as feeling in as good of shape. I need to recommit there and find a way to consistently get there when I have the kids.

Dating (or lack thereof) has been a point of frustration as well. I realize I'm much fresher into it than many of you but coming up on a year of the divorce being official and over 6 months of online dating, with little to no result. I don't mean result as in finding an LTR but even just matches and chats or dare I say dates. You all don't know me in real life, but consider myself to be a great catch. I'm a legitimate 6' tall (not lying about it for OLD), not ripped but above average looks and in-shape for my age, very well off financially, a great father, a good friend and man...etc., but the very few matches aren't good leads (out of town...etc.) and inevitably if I see an attractive single mother profile that I could see as promising I won't even hear back. Not sure if they're no longer on the platform or if I think higher of myself than I'm actually worth lol. I have a fantastic career and make great money but working remotely in my home office on the phone with folks all over the country/world really limits my in real life interactions with new local people. Plus no one I know seems to know any single woman my age in the area. On the other hand when I'm struggling with the two young kids, especially a 3yo, I think maybe it's unrealistic to date now anyway as why would anyone want to deal with a single dad. However, I do get lonely and wish a woman to connect with emotionally and physically.

Anyway...don't mean to sound too down. I have to admit life is pretty good overall with the kids and my job, just been more of a down month or two. Just need to kick start myself again with the gym and re-energize myself to get back on track and hitting all cylinders like I was before. Hopefully the weather starting to change will help with my attitude and getting out and about more. It'd be great to find some dates this Spring/Summer or even meet someone special and experience some of the adult romantic relationship I've missed over the past two years.