D. My situation wasn’t typical. XH had been largely absent from my life for about four years before BD (long story…read my thread if interested) so I started dating sooner than most would or should. I don’t think there is specific timeline but for me, it was when I had fully accepted my marriage was over and had lost the desire to reconcile. I was also past the sadness and looking forward to a new and better life. I had stopped thinking about him when he wasn’t in front of my face and when I did think about him, it was only when something reminded me of him and not a daily self-generated exercise. I wasn’t 100% healed (not sure that is possible) but I would say I was 85% to 90% over it. For me, dating was the last and final step towards finally moving on. When something like this happens, it is a huge blow to your self esteem and self worth so meeting new people who viewed me as attractive and worthy helped me to realize that my life wasn’t over. I’m with Steve though… dating is NOT a way to shorten your pain. You need to fully go through the grief process first.
Funny enough…as time as gone on and I’ve been building my post-divorce life, I am becoming increasingly comfortable with the thought that I might be on my own for the remainder of my life and it doesn’t bother me the way it used to. There are many things I like about being single that would be hard to give up so I’m only going to do that if someone really great comes along.
