Her death made me especially glad that CMM was able to die peacefully at home in his own bed. Her death was tortured, in the hospital. CMM had chosen to take advantage of the Medical Aid in Dying act that we have in our state. Any doubts I might have had about him taking that course have been firmly erased by seeing what she went through in the last weeks of her life. Everybody’s choice is theirs, but I have peace that he made the right choice for him. And I’m grateful that we live in a state where that was available to him.
Most people in our state don’t even know we have that option available. And I found out after the fact that his oncologist would never have been able to discuss that option with him, because they are affiliated with a Catholic hospital and are forbidden from discussing it.
I was raised Catholic, and I understand the mindset. I’m not sure what I would choose for myself. But when someone is days or weeks away from an inevitable death, what value is there in enduring more torture? I’m grateful that I was able to be fully present with CMM at his death. He didn’t die in the middle of the night, unable to wake me up. He didn’t die while I was out grocery shopping. He was not alone when he died, I held one hand, my son held the other.
