BTW, did you ask me before about e-mailing me? Last night when I got an e-mail from karen812, I nearly canned it as spam because I didn't recognize the name initially. LOL I was afraid I might have done the same to somebody else, without realizing it, so I wanted to check.

It sounds like, to me, you are shutting your H out right now. Boundaries are just fine, but don't let them get in the way of moving closer together. You're going to need to increase contact with him, gradually, over time, to rebuild your M!

At first, I had all the same thoughts. H was cake-eating. H was using me. I was letting H walk all over me. There were days I said I wasn't going to let him use me anymore. I understand the frustration.

Maybe stop doing all the "wife" things--such as making the appointments--and try some milder, more friend-oriented activities. Maybe stuff centered around your S. A trip to the zoo or a family dinner? And try to build on that.

ML is really up to you. Do you enjoy it? H and I ML almost the entire time we were seperated. I think we ML more times and more frequently than during the first year of our M. LOL! Something to think about...guys ML to feel connected. ML, for them, is expressing love. So I kept that in mind, and rarely turned H down. He kept saying it didn't mean we were getting back together, I shouldn't get my hopes up, he didn't want to confuse me...yada yada yada. But I was looking to reestablish that connection--because it was barely there the first few times we ML. But if you're not comfortable, you're not comfortable.

IMHO, I think your H is still looking for something emotional with you. It sounds like, from what I've heard, that he's reaching out to you. Maybe testing the waters. Do you know what his LL is? I learned to speak to my H in his LL, and that made a huge difference with us.

Hope some of this helps. I know it hurts, I know you're confused. He!!, I'm still confused. Something I was listening to on the KLA CD earlier--if what you're doing isn't working, try something different. No matter what it is. Then if that doesn't work...keep trying.

[color:"purple"]Nevanna[/color]