My response to that is that doubling down does not necessarily have to lead to living a miserable existence.
What I was trying to say was some if not most people in long term marriages even though it's miserable decide to stay an just accept it as being bad. They don't double down and try to fix anything. They just live a comfortable miserable existence.
I agree. I just think too many people give up too quickly. They refuse to look at their part in it and instead point the finger toward their spouse and look for reasons to leave instead of reasons to stay. I fully believe that if you loved someone once and the two of you are able to own your own stuff and put the work in to repair what you broke…together…you can love each other again. And if there are kids involved…why wouldn’t you want that?!? I think back on my sitch and all of the energy XH devoted to creating his other life while simultaneously carrying on with his family life, it is mind boggling. Imagine if he had spent even half that amount of energy working on our relationship.
I accept it but I will never, ever truly understand it. Probably why I stopped trying which, btw Dink, is the first step in truly moving forward. Once you reach acceptance, you will be amazed at how quickly you begin to heal.
