When those outside factors come into play (financial strain, child rearing stresses, family dynamics, illness, etc…), some people will get through it by doubling down on their marriage whereas others will turn away from their spouse and start to look for sources of happiness outside of their marriage. If both of you are in the first category, you find a way to get through those times and your marriage gets even stronger. If you are married to someone who falls into the second category, you may find yourself on a board like this one feeling the way you are feeling. It is what it is. Bottom line is that you can’t control what other people do and it is futile to try.
This is 100 percent accurate accept I would like to add that some don't cheat/leave or double down on their marriage and live a miserable existence together. Everyone knows at least one of these couples.
My response to that is that doubling down does not necessarily have to lead to living a miserable existence. My parents went through some rough times…it stressed their marriage…they doubled down and things got better over time with both of them being committed to the goal of making it that way. By the time my dad passed away, they were best friends as well as husband and wife. Their relationship had the closeness and depth that can only come when you take on adversity together and work through it so you can make it to the other side. Doesn’t really appeal to the crowd that believes good relationships should be effortless. I know one thing for sure…if I ever get serious about anyone in the future, that will be the first thing I figure out about them. When the going gets rough, what do they do? What have they done in the past? That’s something I didn’t give enough weight to in the past but it means everything to me now.
