I have no idea how long he has been clean. We are going to have a phone call to talk about that stuff. My mother was clean for nearly 10 years. One big life event through her over the edge. And that was cocaine, not heroin. I’m willing to hear him out.
As far as his mom. Yes, I realize I was not in mind and the only thing she wants is a good stable woman for his son. That’s her perspective. He literally just moved out from being back at home for 5 years. She’s not my friend, just a coworker and I think my best interest absolutely didn’t cross her mind.
As far as our compatibility even goes we are pretty opposite . He drives a truck, goes home, has jo responsibilities. Isn’t active except for half of his job ( delivers lumber). We lead pretty different lives. Mine is insanely busy, his isn’t. He’s a nice guy for sure, my physical attraction level to pictures is not up there. I absolutely believe that recovering addicts are deserving of love. I believe they can and are great people. One of the toughest things anyone will ever do is overcome addiction. I have much much respect for that.
Yes, the last guy I dated was bipolar . It’s like the universe is trying to get me to date my mother ? I just don’t know if I am emotionally and mentally equipped to deal with this sort of baggage due to my own. I can’t say I even want to, even if that sounds awful.
I’m not taking care of myself lately. It’s taking a toll on me. I can’t sustain 6 days per week working. I get no chance to take part in any of my hobbies. I get one day off and I have to catch up on house work. I generally have no quality of life right now. I need this to change soon.
I approached the big boss with my interest in the position today. She was supportive and she smiled and she was very honest with me regarding the position and what we don’t see and she also knows I have a very good relationship with my coworkers and did tell me that would likely change. Which I knew. She wants me to apply , the position would be posted next week. I was honest and I told her I considered it 2 years ago when it became available, but I didn’t feel ready then, but I feel ready now. It’s a big step. But I think it would be a good one in so many ways. I’d absolutely regret not applying. Time for some growth.
This is where I am at. D is leaving for vacation tomorrow. I have plans Friday and Saturday night. And I know I am so burnt out, I actually want to cancel them. I need a weekend away alone. I’ll never get it, but I need it
