And part of why I think I said it was mutual (and again I let fear control me), is that I know she is not obviously in a good state of mind and was worried she would bring up my past stuff if she felt I threw her under the bus and, again am wanting to protect the kids from that hurt as well.
The thing for me, my affair was 14 years ago, and I kept it inside to myself and never told one person, not one person. But obviously it took a toll on me over those years with the guilt I carried around
