\I said I told your sister I was going to tell them Saturday and we could do it together or separate, and she said you can tell them And I will tell separate and try to get with them the next day or something,
Dink, this is what stuck out from me from your latest post. I don't get it. We suggested you take the bull by the horn and tell the kids. You even made it seem like that is what you did. However, it appears you conferred with her about it. Do you think that makes you look strong or weak in her eyes? And remember, strength is attractive, weak is repulsive. Maybe at this point you do not care if you are attractive to her or not, but I get the sense you are still trying to "nice" her back.
No contact means no contact. Now if you don't like that advice, or don't want to follow that advice, just let me know and I will shutup about it. I don't type her for my own health, I do it to try to help LBSs. You've been told by lots of posters here that you talk to her WAY too much, so I will repeat the rules of engagement one last time:
If she calls, you let it go to voicemail. If she leaves a voicemail or follows up with a text....and that message is asking a question, you take your time and answer it later. But when you do send a follow up text answer it is short, and in as few words as possible. Yes or no question get yes or no answers. No greetings or closings. No, "Hi -her name-" or thank yous. Just the answer to the question. If her message is not a question, do not answer it at all. If she sends you an informational text or voicemail, and later asks you "Did you get my message?" your response back (after some time has passed, IE NOT right away is): yes.
I get the sense this level of engagement scares you. That you feel like you if she reaches out you have to respond. You don't.
Your avoidant nature still has me asking a lot of questions. So I will put them here:
- Are you in IC?
- Have you read Divorce Remedy (or at least Divorce Busting)?
- Do you still want to get back together with her despite the fact that she is in an ongoing affair?
- How are you staying busy? What are you doing for GAL?
- Do you understand what detachment is? Have you read the threads here on it? Do you have any questions about it?
- If you aren't in IC (and you seem to be anti-IC since you continue to ignore that), what are your plans for self-improvements?
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
