Pregnant, Abandoned Twice, Affairs OW continued

[BL42]

AnnKay,

I knew because H finally told me. Yes, I know, I know, mind reading is something I cannot help to do sometimes. I realize it is pointless and I know I need to own it and detach.

So your H already lives an hour away and is commuting an hour each way for work and to see your son? That's going to be difficult and put a strain on his life and his relationship with OW.

I understand that H is the issue here. OW is nuts, I know, but I would think H would be intelligent enough to know this. Again, I understand what you and SteveLW is saying.

It's not a matter of intelligence. It's not a logical / rational thing.

It is hard, and I guess I am a little hormonal, but I need to really try to detach more, have no expectations and believe nothing when it comes to H.

Yes, you need to detach and drop expectations. Easier said than done so don't beat yourself up over it. It has to be extremely difficult to go through all this with a young son and while pregnant, but do what you can to put H in your rearview mirror.

How did things start to unravel with your ExW? and what made you think that they would blow up before they did?

OM was a coworker married 15 years with three school aged kids. It was never going to work. They would literally fool around in the office before, after, and during work hours while I was home caring for our 4yo and 1yo. It ended when the administration at their work found out and OM's W found out. ExW is no longer employed there. But my ExW turned around and started dating OM2 and moved out filed for D and moved him right in with my kids part time.

Point is...it's your H. Even if this thing with OW doesn't last (and chances are it won't) he'll still be the same person and it doesn't mean you two will R and ride off into the sunset together. He's broken and you didn't break him - he needs to fix himself.