WW vs MLCer vs WAW

[BL42]

Jq25,

His wife had an affair for over a year with a co-worker, then his wife told him about OM and asked for divorce. Sad 😢 He did everything differently, chasing her, buying u name it. He really tried to win her hart back, no luck. It was going on for years - then took him years to get back to be OK and move ON.

Learn from your friend's experience. Chasing, buying things, pursuing her to win her back didn't work. He spent years trying and years recovering. Don't do the same. Easier said than done, but as fast as you can try to detach and move on and make your life incredible without her. Don't get stuck pining and spinning and depressed for years over someone who doesn't want to be with you. Trust me when we say, we understand what you're going through, and understand it's extremely difficult, but the sooner you get strong, active, and happy with a "Don't Give a F" attitude the better.

He said, based on how fast my ex wife moved on to spend her life with OM, moved out and divorce me, she really hated my guts and I was a horrible husband. THIS really hurt me, really did.

I'd believe she hates you. Her insides are probably turning over what she's doing and she has to justify her actions to herself and to her friends and family, so she blames you for all of her unhappiness. HOWEVER, that doesn't mean you deserved it. Your friend perhaps did you a disservice there. It's not always (or often) about the LBS; your W is going through her own issues and working through her own demons right now.

Well she can't say she left a perfectly good husband. How would that make her look?

What LH said. Rarely if ever does the WAS/WS tell her friends and family what a quality guy they're leaving. They make the LBS the bad guy to justify their actions. Now, we don't know you past what you've written on this forum, only you know yourself, but don't take what she says about you as gospel. It's always a balance. There are LBS who really were abusive and deserved to be left but more often there were LBS who weren't perfect but also not nearly as bad as the WAS/WS make them out to be. Do some introspection on the areas you need to improve, but also don't buy into her narrative.

Bottom line is her reasons for leaving aren't important. What Jq does from this point forward is!!

Right. Go out and crush it at life. That's the quickest path to feeling better about your situation.