Dink, stop trying to understand that which can not be understood.
The night before my wife stole my kids, tens of thousands of dollars and cleaned the house out, she came to bed, woke me up (I’d gone to bed early as I had to be up at 4am) and initiated sex and told me how much she loved me. Two days later I came home to an empty house and a letter from a lawyer.
You are desperately trying to “figure out” things. But the reality is, you can’t and won’t be able to make sense of it all.
I’d suggest you stop trying.
What you can make sense of - is yourself, and your own thoughts and feelings. Hence why EVERYONE here is telling you to get into IC, get fit/healthy and stop worrying about her and start worrying about you.
Hobbies, clubs, activities, gaming, gym, bike riding, wine making course …. These are all things which “make sense”.
