Depression over being cheated on is temporary. Allowing it to damage you can be permanent, but the only way that happens is for the LBS to allow it to paralyze them instead of moving forward.
Got it. Think that was the clarification I was looking for. So it's natural to temporarily be depressed, but it's up to the LBS not to allow that turn into permanent damage. Makes sense.
Originally Posted by Dink
What is kinda weird for me is that the last 3 years , at least to me were kinda of some of the best connecting between us I felt. We had sex a lot. And it was great sex on both parts, a lot of times with her initiating and we cuddled every single night and had more conversations.
That does seem odd to me, and I don't have an answer there. Maybe others do.
Originally Posted by Dink
Not that isn’t to say I still didn’t struggle with communication at times, so it probably triggered the past when I wasn’t emotionallly available. And as I stated in one of my original post,
No one is perfect, so don't beat yourself up over it. However, I do get the sense at least from what you've said that a lot of damage had been done from the past you described. Not sure why the 3 year positive run unless she was trying extra hard to make it work outwardly but not feeling it inwardly? Or maybe it was good but OM came around and mixed up her feelings? You may never know.
Originally Posted by Dink
I turned in to super husband, rarely going out, and trying to do everything….I turned unattractive by walking on Eggshells and more than likely caused her to lose attraction as I becoming weak in her eyes And it eventually caused the loss of respect and attraction.
This seems incredibly common around here.
Originally Posted by Dink
I don’t know but I know now I need to GAL and move forward
Yep. GAL is essential.
Me:39 Ex-W:37 M:7 T: 9 S:6 D:3 BD/IHS/Confirm EA/PA: Feb '20 OM1 affair ends: May '20 W/OM2 & moves out: June-July '20 W files for D: Jul20 OM2 confirmed: 9/2020 Divorced: May '21
