Thank you, BL42. Yes I might try that. The "you do realise that it is going to mean it is very unlikely I will ever be allowed to help with anything again ever?" is a bit worrying though. It is a threat but it also just shows how much of a stupid situation he has found himself with OW, which only suggests when it comes to divorce settlement I can only expect the worse from him.
1. He’s threatening to see if you’ll take the bait. He wants to know he’s still got you as his plan B if it doesn’t work out with OW. This is textbook, classic affair behaviour. Do not respond to it under any circumstances.
2. Maybe he’s going to be a pig during the divorce and make it really acrimonious. And maybe he won’t. Do you think that’s something in your control? Newsflash - what you say or do won’t change a wayward spouse making shi**y decisions. LBS often get themselves wrapped up in “what if I say xyz or abc, maybe it will be amicable, I don’t want to piss him off, maybe this is a sign of things to come, what does it all mean….
Don’t disappear down that tunnel. He’s going to do what he’s going to do, and how/if you respond is not going to change anything.
Perhaps spend that energy thinking about what you can control, rather than what you can’t.
