Also, by doing it tomorrow I can tell them about setting up a separate group chat as this will help me I believe gOing forward with detaching.
Do I understand correctly--you have a family group chat where your kids, you, and your XW chat--and tomorrow along with the divorce you're going to announce a separate "Dirk Chat" vs. "XW Chat" to choose between when they send messages?
Could you delay to give your kids time to adjust and be sure that's what you want long-term? Being the one to leave, you may just hear less from your kids. You could always just read it less frequently while you're processing.
