H had mentioned he wanted to have lunch with me when he came in at 4am. I was going to wait for him to call, but by noon, (I leave work at 3) I decided to give him a call. He was pretty sleepy, but said he still really wanted to eat with me. We talked for a bit--went in circles about where we wanted to east. These convos have been known to go on for a long time... I realized we were doing that "but I want to make you happy" dance that we get stuck in, and finally started naming places to eat until I hit one he liked.

Well, H left late. Called me, and by then I really need to be leaving for lunch. So we wound up agreeing that I would meet him there instead of him coming to pick me up. I could have been irritated with him for leaving late, but I wasn't. He probably had a hard time getting up.

We ate outside--the weather was very pleasant. I told him I had had babies on the brain... LOL That I was thinking of, down the road, when we had our kid and our own little place with all of our animals, and how nice that would be. But I wanted to make sure we were stable, job-wise. He smiled, said it would be nice, maybe 5 years or so down the road. At least he's calmed down on that front!

We started talking about my mom, who is ridiculously passive agressive. He started to get pretty worked up, said if she didn't respect him, he wouldn't want her anywhere around his kid. And I agree. My mom actually badmouths my brother's gf in front of their S3. And that just isn't right. I don't want her doing that with our kid! So I validated, which wasn't hard, because I am in total agreement.

Of course, then he was mad, so he got more uptight about something else. So he brought up one time when I had gone out to eat with basically his entire family...and we didn't call him, because I thought he would still have been at work. I just validated a bunch here. He was just feeling grumpy in general, no sense arguing with him over something that's in the past anyway. I told him it was my fault, I was sorry, I wouldn't do the same thing again. We went in circles for a couple of minutes--him saying it bugged him, and me calmly validating. I wasn't even that mad at him. He finally said he knew he was dragging something up again, he was just uptight, and didn't know why, and shouldn't keep bugging me with it.

We thought about it for a second, realized it was because he had gotten ticked off talking about my mom. I said maybe he was like me--once he got mad, it just gets more in a cycle. He thought about it for a second, didn't exactly agree, but did say he tended to dwell on something.

So then we started talking about something else, and he began to calm down. (See, only needed to change the topic.) He told me that I always made him feel better.

Since I was getting out of work in an hour anyway, I asked him to hang around the area until I got done so we could get a headstart at looking for apartments. He said that would be okay with him. Again, he is going way out of the way for me... All of these things seem so much more profound when I put them in perspective, that acts of service is his major LL. Got to remember to let him know how much I appreciate him.

[color:"purple"]Nevanna[/color]