Pregnant, Abandoned Twice, OW Affairs MLC? the Lot

[BL42]

AnnKay,

It seems that the lawyer or the legal system here anyway is preferring settlement much more than going to court for divorce.

I get the sense this is common most places. A trial is a long costly process which probably ends in a similar result to a reasonable agreement, so where I am at least the Ls and judge "strongly encourage" a private settlement.

We quickly go through the estimated value of all of our known assets and although I think it is quite a nice amount, the lawyer seems to think that if its not in the 10s of millions it will not be worth fighting for.

Not sure if I'm misreading the last part, but you should get what you're legally entitled to regardless of whether you're going to trial or preferably settling. The law is the law. If your H isn't reasonable about the finances then weigh the costs/benefits/risks but don't just let him run away with it.

That, and the fact that we have so little joint assets makes settlement more favourable. I am still sitting down on this discussion and will meet a couple of friends who have been through the same thing next week too.

You refer to the assets, but those can be more straightforward than other issues. What about custody, child support, spousal maintenance? Do you have a good sense of your approach there? With the young age of the kids are you going to push for primary custody, or will you agree to 50/50? Do you have any idea what H wants?

Last night, he called to say that he tested positive for Covid and needs to isolate for 7 days at home with my son. He sounds very poorly (he has kinda been a bit sickly the last time I saw him) and I am worried for him. I am worried for my son and worried that he might not be well taken care of, or be wondering where Mummy is. I am also worried that H might be too ill to take care of my son, but now I cannot go there unless I want to isolate with them.

Every case is different and there are many more serious than mine, so don't but I took care of my then S5 and D2 for 17 days straight while all three of us had COVID and managed fine. Kept S5 on track with virtual Kindergarten and worked remotely while entertaining a 2yo. It was hectic, it was exhausting, but I did it...and the kids had great fun w/grocery and dinner delivery! Point being I mostly agree w/DejaVu and Traveler that if you're pregnant and at risk maybe give yourself a break and let H care for your son and you rest up and keep you and your baby safe. I'm sure it'll be tough not to see your son for a week, but there's always video chat.

XH chose to fire you as his wife. One consequence is not having you as his wife!

Completely agree with this one! Any decision should be made purely on the best interest of you, your son and your baby...not at all for H.